#that's how you know your jokes are good

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[leletha-jann]

Congratulations, this joke I dug up out of your archive is now BASICALLY CANON.

(from the Story with Franz)

Excellent work by all involved, and now this page is so much funnier if I assume the prompt is the backstory to Lumi's comments.

A Heterodyne gets so fed up with the Castle badgering him for heirs, that he organizes a scavenger hunt in the Castle and invites a good chunk of Mechanicsburg kids over. He of course, has the more dangerous and private areas sealed off and the Castle is given strict orders to make sure the kids don't get injured or killed. Halfway through the hunt, he looks up at the ceiling and yells, "IS THIS ENOUGH CHILDISH LAUGHTER AND PATTER OF LITTLE FEET FOR YOU?!" The Castle sulks for a week afterwards.

Sounds pretty Heterodyne…except for the safety precautions.

[erinwantstowrite]

will peter be like an older brother to miles in lof ?

absolutely he is

there's about an 11 year difference between them (Miles is 14, Peter is 25), so it's a lot more like the older brother type of relationship that Peter has with Tim (despite Tim being his uncle). Peter has mentored(ish) other young heroes by this point (mostly in the Bats' universe) but since Miles is another Spider-Man, Peter takes up most of the responsibility in making sure Miles is safe and teaching him the ropes. That's HIS sassy child genius, thank you, and he's not a sidekick, he's Spider-Man.

He was also adamant that Miles tell his parents immediately, and gets along great with Rio and Jeff.

Which is HILARIOUS to me because at this point in time, Peter has built up a persona for the public eye just like the Bats did. In Rio and Jeff's eyes, they're gobsmacked that the clumsy, scatterbrained, and "scaredy-cat" kid that Tony Stark adopted a while ago is Spider-Man. (Technically, none of this is a lie. Because Peter is a terrible liar unless it's For the Jokes, and often comes across this way even if he hadn't meant to.) They're wondering how he pulled that off since he's the same age as Spider-Man, who is known to be an Avenger, and associates in the same circles as Peter. It helps that Peter and Spider-Man have been in a social media war, and that Peter works at the Daily Bugle that is known for disliking Spider-Man. Peter's been taking lessons for years atp to keep his identity safe. Which is also bonus points to Peter, because the two can tell that secret identities mean everything to him, but he told them who he was in a heartbeat (literally the very first thing he did when he found Miles).

In other words: Peter was ecstatic to become a teacher for his own matching superhero kid and it's one of the most important bonds in his life. That's his baby brother now!!

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

[yoosung-ah]

Choose your player: aggressive vs. passive-aggressive round 1/?

[leverage-ot3]

I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???

and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?

a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting

and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.

every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you

and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)

and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.

a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.

not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.

[vanilla-bean-buttercream]

"Allies should be okay with hearing hard truths that we have been suffering through for years, because if a child has to experience it, they as an adult can take the time to understand it with their adult brain and their adult emotions, and if they cannot handle that, I shouldn't have to be okay with handling their feelings gently."

and

"Sometimes we go too hard on allies because they're the only person who benefits from the problem who will listen to us, and the anger that we have carried from being wronged for years should not be put solely put on the shoulders of people trying to help us, and they should not have to be okay with being mistreated with the same hatred that people have aimed at us."

Can and should coexist actually.

[egophiliac]

ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU

I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.

like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --

[mrmeepsmadmind]

hate when you're a behemoth but this bigger behemoth won't leave your (back)side. it's like he thinks you're friends or something . (Blitz will immediately come crawling back to astro bcs a caterpillar tried chewing on him or smthing after he shook it out a tree bcs hes an asshole & now he needs vengeance )(help*)

🏈- primus, astrolame, can't you go somewhere with your huge self and stop stalking me like some giant shadow??? you're making femmes think i'm a SHORT GIANT?? ( you are 🚂 . ) (that's not fucking fair & You Know It 🏈. ) go get some femmes on your spike- hang out with some FRIENDS, for scrap's SAKE LeaVe mE ALonE??!! PRIMUS, you're SOFT- don't you have ANY FRiENDS ( also has none ) ?? 😾‼️ 🚂 - tra-

🏈- istp(rimus) if you say trains. trains don't count . they NEVER counted-

🚂 - well can you? can you count, blitz .

🏈 -

🏈 - answer my question first, spikehead . (BoOM! FIRST! ONE!!! ☝️‼️ that's like- a NUMBER, RIGHT??? ... IN UR FACE, THOMAS THE POOPOO TRAIN ahhhaaa 😋😋😝 )

🚂- ....... ... i have you .

🏈 - ....

[aroaceleovaldez]

im really not a fan of Rick's recent trend of recycling bits of his writing that got a good reaction the first time and acting as if that's a valid substitute for. actually bothering to write something original a second time around. It's clearly just there as a callback and nothing more.

It's "Nico's rage exploded" and "Percy's rage exploded" with the exact same paragraph formatting. It's CoTG having titles like "My Singing Makes Things Worse, and Everyone Is Totally Shocked" (reference to TLO, when Percy says he thinks his singing would cause an avalanche) or "Pretty Much the Best Good-Night Kiss Ever" (reference to TLO "Pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time") or any other number of near word-for-word references to the first series. It's Nico calling Percy "seaweed brain" in Un Natale Mezzosangue (when Percy says in TTC that anybody but Annabeth calling him that is a major offense). It's Nico and Will falling into Tartarus in TSATS word-for-word referencing Percy and Annabeth in House of Hades, despite it not making any sense for their characters (and otherwise being written as Percabeth 2™). It's the show making huge changes but keeping random "fan-favorite references" (mostly overusing "seaweed brain" and "wise girl" and emphasizing percabeth) only because they're popular in-jokes and considering that a faithful enough adaptation to market it heavily as such. It's lazy writing.

And it's a disservice to the series and to the audience, because it clearly shows Rick doesn't have original ideas anymore (though given all his writing is heavily derivative to begin with, it begs the question how much was original in the first place and how much he has difficulty when he doesn't have a structured mythological plot to work from) and that there is an expectation that the audience will just sit down and accept that behavior hook-line-and-sinker. Everything recently is clearly such lip-service to the audience, either in retcons that are overt speaking-to-camera acknowledgements of things he's been criticized on or wink-wink-nudge-nudges of community in-jokes that have no business in the actual text (see: over-use of ship names in canon). Especially since Rick tends to be about 5 years behind on the fandom uptake. It's just so disappointing to see.

[korolation]

yeah whatever. you get to be posted too

[sappi-papi]

found this template and something evil took hold of me . have i made it clear that they make me Sick yet. because they make me Sick. Ouh my favorite pair of doomed best friends/found family. sorry about the super small text btw you'll probably have to open in a new tab if you're on desktop or zoom in super hard if you're on mobile. guh.

[shivroy]

jordan i have a vitally important question. what fursona would YOU assign hibs and also what fursona do u think he would assign himself if these are different answers

so sad that i went insane before i saw ur second ask because in the WORLD of dogs in suits, slightly fucked up bulldog hibs (aesthetics wise coming from both doggylike parents - sorry fox lovers are gonna be mad at me for calling them dogs) would be so good... shar pei absolute menace of a dog son..... but everything about pig hibernian makes perfect sense to me. bojack horseman rules i dont gaf how a fox and a foxhound make a pig. i hope you'll agree they did

i couldn't remember his name. hibernian is not a lion

[tohruies]

i'll give you a piece of your favourite candy if you can tell what happens next ! ! 🍬

um 🥹 . what happens next is that . we . um . we kiss . um and . and when we pull away from each other, i cradle his face in my hands and look at him in distress, “yao, i think we need to kill femi.” he nods slowly, a bit concerned, but still takes me in his organic arm and uses his bionic one to propel us out of his house and to femi's location (yes he breaks the roof in the process) (yes we are still half naked) (yes we time-skipped into your plane of existence). he sets me on my feet and i run and break down the door to your house and hold you at gunpoint. <- gun that shoots out heart-shaped bubbles (they will kill you from how cute they are). you grovel at my feet, tears in your eyes. “coco, it had to be done, there was no other way!” i don’t care anymore. i hold the barrel to your forehead and then... the scene cuts to black before anyone knows what happens next. christopher nolan style ambiguous ending. period exclamation mark justify paragraph save as pdf upload file. aaand submit.

there, i told you what happens next … MAY I PRETTY PLEASE HAVE MY CANDY NOW 😒 /SILLY

[faaun]

said goodbye to him feeling weird!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i had this old man teacher in middle school who basically was Charles Xavier. i mean, he looked the part, he sounded the part, he acted the part- really the only difference was the lack of telepathy and he could walk. and the name i guess.

well i ran into him the other day and his recently wedded husband. they met when he was in the military forever ago and reconvened and inevitably tied the knot.

his husband’s name?

Erik.

i am being dead serious. a part of me evaporated.

What in the reddit story…….. youre yanking my chain SURELY…. But if youre not has his husband ever expressed revolutionary ideation or—